Cold
by cccahill18
Summary: Based off the lyrics of Crossfade's "Cold." House and Cameron's thoughts during episode 3x01, Meaning. HouseCameron


Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own any part of the show House, MD; I'm simply playing around with the characters thoughts. I also do not own "Cold" by Crossfade.

A/N: Thank you to YourXFirefly for helping me with this! Lyrics have been removed to comply with site regulations.

_Cold_

Allison Cameron:

To say that House infuriated her would be an understatement. Without fail, he was always thinking that he knew everything about everyone, including herself. Maybe he was a genius when it came to diagnostics, avoiding patients, and Game Boys, he didn't know everything about her, despite the many times he had told her otherwise.

Gregory House:

He didn't know why he should be feeling this way. He had been expecting something more like the somewhat comforting feeling of predictability, the same feeling that came from everyone else. Whatever he had been predicting, though, it wasn't this, not this feeling that he refused to associate with regret. God, he wished he had a Vicodin handy.

Allison Cameron:

There's an old saying that says you don't know what you have until it's gone. In the months before the shooting, she seemed to have reached a balance in dealing with House; not allowing her feelings to interfere as much as before. The only thing that had created then was a mess. If she had acted slightly more worried than the other two members of her fellowship, most people just thought it was her usual personality. She was regarded as the nice, ethical doctor, who managed to have a level of compassion with all of her patients. There were perhaps only a select few who guessed otherwise. She'd denied it; there was no need for them to think that, though deep inside herself she had known better. Of course, that's all very well, to miss what you lost, until what you had before comes back again. All memories are dulled over time.

Gregory House:

From the moment Cameron had first asked him to go on a date he had known it would end this way. He'd been a fool to get his hopes up in preparation for that night. He still didn't know what had possessed him to buy her that silly corsage. They hadn't even begun their dinner when he felt certain that they wouldn't work together. She had no reason to be attracted to him, and God knew he wouldn't change for anyone. Therefore, there had to be a motive beyond the obvious.

Quite simply, Allison Cameron was the type of person who could not be happy until she felt that she had made the world a better place, which included "falling in love" with sick cripples she felt needed to be fixed. He'd suspected the cause before, but had pushed it aside; that fact alone scared him more than he wanted to admit. All the more reason to snip whatever Cameron wanted to start in the bud. Why he had felt a strange sense of hope, then, after his treatment was beyond him, and House was not a big fan of unanswerable questions.

Allison Cameron:

Right after House's return, she had gotten the feeling that things would be somewhat the same compared to before. To her, it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. There were some changes; House's leg seemed like it had never been hurt at all. She had hoped that maybe this would put into effect some other changes; a little less sarcasm or fewer insults wouldn't be bad. That would probably be wishing for too much, though. On a House-scale, however, he did seem happier than he usually was, and being personally thanked by a patient was something she was still trying to believe. Allison was happy for him; he'd been miserable for so long that he deserved a reprieve (despite what former patients and several hospital staff members might think).

She was satisfied with the way he had started to treat her at the beginning of the day. The same as usual was good with her, nice and safe. Of course, that was in the morning; it was later that she lost that satisfaction.

Gregory House:

He didn't know why, but he had asked her. Nothing formal like the first time around; just a few drinks, very casual. Whether or not it was formal or casual or whatever, there was still the underlying reason that he could not quite understand. Curiosity, probably, and his own stupid hopes to dissipate no matter how loudly he ignored them. Not that they mattered at all, now. She'd said no. In her usual "sunshine and bunnies" way, Cameron had avoided a direct answer, filling in the space with her empty excuses. Had he really expected any less from her? He was healthy again; too bad it was one of her turn-offs.

Allison Cameron:

She literally hadn't believed that House had seriously asked her such a thing. People say that women are more complex than men when it comes to relationships, but Cameron was ready to believe that House was an exception. Did he really expect her to be a mind-reader and be able to tell when he was and wasn't being serious with this type of thing? He'd said 'I love you' to trick her into doing something before; how was she to tell the difference now? When House had brought up the subject of them having drinks together, she was shocked, yes, but at least this time she didn't just stand there with her mouth gaping. He wasn't going to catch her off her guard quite so easily. She was going to catch him off his.

She knew that it wasn't quite the way she had wanted to handle saying no, but somehow she just couldn't go right out and say it. Nevertheless, she did expect to see some sort of reaction in her favor. What she was not expecting was House's coldly smug smile that she decided then and there that she hated. Maybe she really was the simpler of the two.

Gregory House:

So here he was. Nothing was different, nothing had changed over the past few minutes. Well, maybe Cameron would be ticked at him for a little while, but she'd get over it. She may be overly sensitive at the most inconvenient times, but her ability to be so quick with her forgiveness was something he would probably never understand about her.

He himself thought that he would simply disregard the matter for the time being. There was a case at hand, which would probably be easier to solve than the annoying resentment that occupied his thoughts when they weren't busy. It wasn't one of his better plans, and knew that Allison Cameron had a way of sneaking into his thoughts like the infectious little worm that she really was, twisting and squirming through all of his carefully laid defenses. It would have to work, though. He couldn't afford it not to. He'd done it before, he could do it again. Whatever may happen later wasn't a matter for right now. No, he wasn't going to think about Cameron now. Later, when there was nothing else to distract him –no. Why think about this? Enough was enough. House just hoped the case at hand would be enough. Cameron was a worse disease than whatever his patient had, and it was getting hard to tell whether he hated her for it or not.

Allison Cameron:

It never occurred to her until House had finished lecturing her and had walked off that maybe he had really been hurt about her saying no. He really could put on a rocky exterior, and could really test her patience (everyone tended to think she had an unlimited supply, but they just hadn't pushed her even close to her breaking point, unlike a certain House), but after all, he was human, no matter how much he liked to deny it. When he had told her how 'full of crap' she was, he had seemed more angry than he would have been in that situation. Usual level of sarcasm, yes, but with a meaner edge, if that was possible. The way he had stormed off afterwards (she'd have to get used to this), too, was not quite right, not counting the fact that he was without a cane. Did he really care that much? Maybe he had been hoping to see if she really would go out with him if he wasn't limping.

Suddenly, she could feel her stomach churning. She hadn't given him the right idea, and now the remorse was biting at her. If he would let down his guard once in a while, maybe she would have responded differently. Cameron tried to tell herself that it was House's own fault that he was unhappy now. Maybe she was reading way too far into this, and that his sole objective really was to mock her. Whether it was the case or not, her conscience was reeling. She didn't want to be feeling guilty, with this awful cold feeling growing within her, but the choice wasn't in her power. When the choice about her feelings concerning House had left her she didn't know, but she wished it would end. Oh, how she wished it would.

The End


End file.
